{"id":1384,"date":"2021-07-21T12:43:28","date_gmt":"2021-07-21T12:43:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ever-journey.com\/?p=1384"},"modified":"2023-05-26T07:27:55","modified_gmt":"2023-05-26T07:27:55","slug":"gone-like-a-ghost","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ever-journey.com\/stage\/2021\/07\/21\/gone-like-a-ghost\/","title":{"rendered":"Gone like a ghost?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u201cDon\u2019t judge yourself by what others did to you.\u201d\u2015 C. Kennedy, \u00d3morphi<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

What is ghosting?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
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Ghosting is the practice of ending a personal or professional relationship with someone suddenly, and without explanation; by withdrawing from all forms of communication and interaction.1<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The term\u00a0originated in the early 2000s, typically referring to dating and romantic relationships. In the following decade, the media reported a rise in ghosting, which has been attributed to the increasing use of social media and online dating apps.2<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ghosting as a term may be seen as a new term within our culture and digital age, however, it has been around for several years. Almost seem like a form of silent treatment, a form of behaviour of suddenly disappearing from someone\u2019s life without so much as an explanation, call, email, or text. \u00a0This is a common phenomenon in the modern dating world, and also in other social and professional settings.3<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first use of Silent treatment as a form of torture was used in\u00a0prison reforms around 1835, the silent treatment was used in prisons as an alternative to physical punishment, as it was believed that forbidding prisoners from speaking, calling them by a number rather than their name4<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ghosting is by no means limited to romantic relationships. Informal dating relationships, friendships, and even work relationships may end with a form of ghosting.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Ghosting in personal relationships<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

People primarily ghost in relationships as a way of avoiding the emotional discomfort they are having in a relationship \u2013 and generally not thinking of how it will make the person that they are ghosting feel.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ghosting in employment<\/em><\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ghosting in employment often refers to a person who\u00a0interviews\u00a0for a job and is led to believe there is a chance of getting the job, then no acknowledgement of the position being filled is ever conveyed to the interviewee5<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The term has also been used in reference to people accepting job offers and cutting off contact with the potential employer, as well as employees leaving their jobs without any notice.6<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ghosting is emotional abuse<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you or someone you love has been emotionally abused by someone, you\u2019ll recognise the terms of ghosting, silent treatment or even gaslighting. These are terms used for how we are treated by people who reject or ignore us and then make it seem like we\u2019re overreacting. Ghosting is been termed a real form of emotional abuse7<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ghosting can cause you emotional distress. It can cause you to question yourself, which can be devastating to your confidence and self-esteem. \u00a0Despite how common ghosting is, the emotional effects can be devastating, and particularly damaging to those who already have fragile self-esteem or a history of emotional abuse or trauma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ghosting deprives you of any chance to work through what went wrong in the relationship and makes you overthink and experience further negative emotions , as you try to identify why you have been ghosted in the first place. It makes you second guess yourself & causes you to feel terrible about yourself and diminish your self-worth. 8<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why Do People Ghost?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

According to results from two 2018 studies, around 25% of people have been ghosted at some point.9<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The most common cause of ghosting in a personal relationship is to avoid emotional discomfort in a relationship. A person ghosting typically has little acknowledgement of how it will make the other person feel. Ghosting is associated with negative mental health effects on the person on the receiving end and has been described by some mental health professionals as a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse or cruelty.10<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

People ghost for a variety of reasons. Relationship experts and psychologists agree that people who ghost are avoiding an uncomfortable situation. This evasion, while perceived as a lack of regard, is often because they feel & believe it\u2019s the best way to handle their own distress or inability to clearly communicate11<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ghost-ers themselves may admit they don\u2019t want to hurt you, or they don\u2019t know what to do \u2013 and avoid communication as they find it very difficult to discuss their true feelings or may in fact feel hurt or betrayed by you. Sometimes they don\u2019t think discussing a situation was necessary or they became scared avoiding interaction altogether. Ghosting can be seen as a passive way to withdraw.12<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the person who does the ghosting, simply walking away from a relationship, or even a potential relationship, is a quick and easy way out. No drama, no hysterics, no questions asked, no need to provide answers or justify any of their behaviour, no need to deal with someone else\u2019s feelings. Certainly, while the \u2018ghoster\u2019 may benefit from avoiding an uncomfortable situation and any potential drama, they\u2019ve done nothing to improve their own conversation and relationships skills for the future13<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your brain suffers when you are ghosted.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Physical and emotional pain are on the same neural pathway in the brain.
Studies have shown that social rejection of any kind activates the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain, meaning there\u2019s a biological link between rejection and pain.14<\/sup>

According to research studies, social rejection can cause the same level of pain that an injury to the body would cause because the pain is activated in the same region of the brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Staying connected to others has evolved as a human survival skill. Our brains have what\u2019s called a social monitoring system that uses mood, people and environmental cues to coach us on how to respond situationally. But when you get ghosted, there\u2019s no closure, so you question yourself and choices which sabotage your self-worth and self-esteem.

This may help explain why many people try to numb the hurt they\u2019re feeling by drinking alcohol or taking other drugs or medications. What they\u2019re doing is really just numbing the part of the brain that is creating feelings of emotional distress.15<\/sup>

When you get ghosted, it immediately triggers a stress response. You immediately go to worst-case scenarios & jump to conclusions that you might jump to without sufficient evidence. Since stress decreases blood flow to the prefrontal cortex of your brain, where rational thought occurs, it might even feel like you\u2019re having trouble thinking clearly. So if you quite literally don\u2019t know how to process the sudden lack of contact.

Perhaps worst of all, though, is the fact ghosting can also trigger feelings similar to fear.\u00a016<\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Cope When You\u2019ve Been Ghosted<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Below are some suggestions\/tips on how to cope. If you find that you are unable to cope on your own and you need assistance to deal with the negative emotional effects of being ghosted, please reach out to a professional who can help you articulate the complex feelings you may have; providing you with coping strategies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Below are some tips :<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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